"Food foam contains no nutrition, after two days your body will start digesting itself"

These days are pretty awful. It’s not an all the time thing. Although I always have a low grade hurt going on. However, sometimes the hurt swells into a powerful pain that I feel all over. I’ve learned that talking to people in the house will do nothing to alleviate the pain, it usually just turns into anger and ultimately that causes more pain for me.

However, I have learned how to use the pain. At this stage the aches and the racing thoughts overcome my need to eat. Since this pain is going to be around no matter what it works great at distracting me from the need to eat. I can go at least a day with nothing but water before the hunger pangs overtake the existential/broken relationship pain.

This morning Leia and I

This morning Leia and I sort of had a fight. She agreed that we can’t be friends for awhile. Although neither of us were really sure what that meant. It’s a decision born from the frustration, hurt and anger that has been our lives recently.

I’m leaving town next tuesday (17th) and won’t be back in Dallas till sometime in early October. Tuesday I’m riding up with a friend to Worcester, MA. Hopefully we’ll camp in North Carolina somewhere along the way. Then I’ll be around Worcester till the 25th. (I’m hoping to hit Boston and maybe New York City while I’m up there.) I’m taking Greyhound down to Huntsville and if all goes according to schedule I’ll get there around noon on the 26th. I plan on staying in Huntsville till I buy a car.

In response to Leia's post:

In response to Leia’s post:

Oh my god, this self-serving rhetoric is totally gagilicious.

Allow me to paraphrase your pain: “As long as I keep everything bottled up inside and never say what I feel I deceive other people. I tell myself that it’s me trying to “make other people happy”…But really, that’s just a lie since in actuality it’s that I don’t have the courage to explore what I’m really feeling and be honest with others.”

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much"

I don’t get it. She breaks up with me. At first I’m relieved, but as time marches on it changes to hurt. I soldier on going my own way and trying to ignore her. Then she cries to me for friendship and understanding. This morning I responded with friendship. Slightly after noon I’m about as interesting to her as last week’s donuts. Then tonight she makes fun of me because a small part of me wants her back. (An evil nasty part that was no doubt planted inside me by her during some midnight surgical procedure as I slept) On top of all of it she has the gall to whine about hurting other people (which isn’t just me by the way).

"Today Leia sent Ruraidh a

“Today Leia sent Ruraidh a letter telling him to stop chasing her. She asked me to proof it. I did and was quite detached about the whole thing. A little bit after that she told me about her date with Michael tonight. She had refused Ruraidh the opportunity to have a tete-a-tete. She spouted some sort of noblesse oblige about not wanting to date friends in her clique and that she wasn’t interested in dating. Well hows that for a big fuck you. She wants my friendship, even says “I love you” to keep it. She wants to tell me about her dates and then not take any responsibility for how that makes me feel.

A brief encounter

I was walking to Dave’s on a warm Dallas Summer day. Then, about fifty yards ahead of me, a woman was approaching me. She was holding her hands against her face and walking down the sidewalk towards me. The first thing I saw was the t-shirt with Christian iconography on it. The front was pretty much covered by a cartoonish wooden cross that looked like it was about to fall over and crush someone.

"And that's the way it is..."

Oh this is hilarious, according to this article Bush has spent 42% of his presidency at leisure locations (Camp David, Kennebunkport, and his Texas ranch). For comparison: if you work 5 days a week that means you spend 29% at leisure locations.

Oh and just in case you forget Gore won according to a University of Chicago study. This matters little as both candidates are cretins. I wrote in John Hagelin from the Natural Law party.

24 hour party people

I just got out of 24 Hour Party People and I’m blown away. It’s about the real Tony Wilson, a TV reporter in Manchester, who went on to help launch bands like Joy Division, New Order and Happy Mondays.

It’s an interesting story and the movie tells it like no story has ever been told. The Tony Wilson character is also the narrator for the movie. Then to make it even more self-referential the real Tony Wilson and various other luminaries from the real history play other parts in the movie. As the narrator he not only tells us what has happened and what will happen later in history, but he also knows how the movie is edited together. As the narrator he points out scenes that didn’t make it into the final cut that will be in the DVD extras. I can’t think of any other movie where it’s so self-aware of its medium. Tony Wilson even takes time to point out symbolism in the movie.

"I will depress your movie grosses like a thief in the night."

Christian films, specifically the apocalypse features, have never hit it big in the mainstream. The biggest hit in the genre has been The Omega Code at $12 million. Salon has a neat article about Christian apocalypse films. It focuses on why Christian movies haven’t crossed over the way Christian music and books have.

One line that surprised me from the article was this:

The recent Time cover story about apocalypse fever quotes a Boeing employee who decided against upgrading to Windows XP for fear the antichrist might use Microsoft security features to track e-mails sent between Christians. If you substitute “government” for “antichrist” and “friends” for “Christians” you could describe another segment of the population.

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Saturday: Yell at people walking by park (Bring lunch)

Sitting in the Raton, NM town park the crusty, old, veteran yelled “GET A DAMN HAIR CUT!” to somebody walking down the street. When I looked up I thought the veteran was about to jump out of the gazebo and beat the guy down. He was really angry. Then a little bit later a couple more guys went walking buy and out came “WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?” followed with something about his service in the war. I didn’t really hear the rest of it. He was really angry though. I thought I was going to see a fight. Except that the two guys kept walking and did their best to ignore him.