I can think of few

I can think of few moments where I feel dumber than when I see a word I misspelled, and it’s being quoted back to me in email. It sits there like a turd in the middle of the email. We both know I did it, but are too polite to say anything about it. I’ve done it twice now and both were in important emails. Ugh.

Vann Siegert has got to

Vann Siegert has got to be one of the more fascinating characters to hit the big screen in recent years. He’s played by Owen Wilson in The Minus Man. He may be a serial killer, but he’s really a nice guy. I think what struck me most is the lack of structure and pattern that he has incorporated into his life. At one point he opines “I’m just a comet drifting through the atmosphere.” He acts only when he has to, and he maximizes the impact he makes. He observes and tries to discern the patterns going on around him and how he fits into them. He describes this as “I take the natural momentum of a person and I draw it to me.” The only plan he has is to decode the world around him as it unfolds and react. This includes when he kills people. He just responds to an urge within him. The victims are arbitrary. Of course, I can’t imagine how a killer could work in any way where he thought about consequences to his actions.

I was reading The Problem

I was reading The Problem of Pain today and I was surprised to see C.S. Lewis write “He makes, we are made: He is original, we derivative.” He writes it and it is so. He doesn’t wring his hands about the matter any further. I suppose his satisfaction with his statement comes from his Christian faith in God and the master plan God has for him. I wonder if all religion is about some sort of subjugation to a maker.

What the!? Something looks different

What the!? Something looks different about you blog. Did you get a hair cut?

I think a question has

I think a question has been implicit in my thoughts recently, lurking behind the scenes. The question being, if every man is derivative and incapable of uttering a new word then from what are we derived? I wonder if the answer might be hiding somewhere in the notion of god. I’m uncomfortable with that idea as it seems to rob me of my uniqueness. I feel like I should be Salieri exclaiming my mediocrity to the world.

It would be interesting to

It would be interesting to know what it is men are most afraid of. Taking a new step, uttering a new word.

-Fyodor Doestevsky Crime and Punishment

I’ve been plagued with this concern that I can only produce things that are derivative. I did a search for “pure thought” and found a link to Hegel. The Hegelian view of man is that the essence of man is his labor. Perhaps that is the only thing I should be concerned with? One of the people that Doestevsky found inspiration from, George Sand, said “There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.” Perhaps love is the one thing that each one of us can offer in a singularly unique way?

Today I went to this

Today I went to this creek that’s down under Forest near Medical City. It’s right next to a biking/running trail. I took some pictures and then I perched near the top of one of the sloping sides. My back was resting against one of the pillars that held up Forest. I was so happy. I thought about when I was a kid and my friend Roy and I would hike through these creeks for hours and hours. At points the water would be up to our waist. Before we went on our expeditions we packed like we were going to slay Beowulf. We had rope, canteens, flashlights, BB rifles, medical kits, compasses, watches and anything else that would fit on a belt or in a backpack. I cherished all those adventures even though we never really had a purpose. We just slogged through muddy, dirty water.

Here comes a blast from

Here comes a blast from the past. Before we had blogs BBSes and ezines fulfilled the same sort of need. I thought I should offer up a tribute. This is the story of one such ezine that captivated the nation and was eventually made into an animated feature: “The Brave Little Toaster.”

One of the most important ezines to emerge since the Teapot Dome Scandal
-Gandhi

Well, to be honest,
-Marshall McLuhan

Read more...

I got this off the

I got this off the godspeed you black emperor! list and I thought others would find it helpful. I never knew cows played such an important part of Nicaragua’s infrastructure.

“In the early 80’s the CIA published a sabotage manual and distributed it through Nicaragua. The anti-Sandanista pamphlet is full of tips on bringing down the infrastructure of the country.”

http://www.smog.net/curiosities/sabotage/

"[Mankind's] history is largely a

“[Mankind’s] history is largely a record of crime, war, disease, and terror, with just sufficient happiness interposed to give them, while it lasts, an agonised apprehension of losing it, and when it is lost, the poignant misery of remembering.”

-C.S. Lewis The Problem of Pain

In my grieving over Kathy I have discounted the importance of others. I suppose literature has taught me a lot about what grieving is about. I operate at times under this illusion it’s supposed to be this Greek tragedy. I think about Heathcliff and Cathy in Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff is driven by a single purpose and that is to be with Cathy, especially once she is gone. While Kathy’s absence diminishes us all I do her no service by wallowing in the “poignant misery of remembering.” I feel the need to take the time to remember an incredible friend of mine, Rebecca. Without her influence my travels would be miniscule and insignificant. She reawakened my love for the outdoors, and helped me begin to uncover a spiritual side that I had actively scorned previously. Before her I saw myself as a machine that had fallen from grace and been made human. I sought to purge emotions. While Rebecca is not solely responsible for helping me to see my own darkness she carried on the work of others before her. She was a bright spot in the three years in Birmingham and we had many good times. Boy did we have some fights though, she was a scrappy fighter! I was still a hurt little kid though fighting over silly things most of the time.