Alright, I've figured out the

Alright, I’ve figured out the cause of the “economic slowdown.” It all ties in with the US Mint’s 50 State Quarter program. If you check the 10 year schedule they started this January 1, 1999. Is it coincidence that in a year dotcoms began collapsing? You’ve seen the quarters. They memorialize some aspect of each state. I think it’s kinda neat. Till the big revalation dawned on me.

These new quarters have engendered a coin collection compulsion in me. If I’m at a vending machine I now check my quarters and conserve the special ones. I then squirrel them away in a special, secret place that I won’t tell anyone about because you would break in and steal my collection. It dawned on me that if I’m hiding these quarters then they aren’t in circulation anymore. Well we still need quarters so more quarters are minted. Thus the value of a quarter is diluted because there are more of them.

This creates inflationary pressures which means that you need more money to buy the same things. Therefore people need more money to buy things. Check out these charts on rising labor costs. This in turn has led to vast economic woes for the US. Q.E.D.

In light of this epiphany I’ve decided to devote my free time to finding a treatment for compulsive coin collecting of the State Quarters, and therefore save the economy. Oh and you wanna know why they say 2002 will be a good year for the economy, that’s when Tennessee, Ohio, Louisiana, Indiana and Mississippi come out. Who wants those?