Dear Fedex, I recently went

Dear Fedex,

I recently went to a Kinkos and used your priority overnight service to ship two CDs to a friend in Vancouver, WA. (You know, where all the Portland wannabes live) I dropped the package off at 6:42pm. By 5:31am it had arrived in Portland after traveling through Memphis. I know air travel is not that efficient. Clearly, you have some sort of teleportation technology. Why haven’t you made it available to the public? Can you imagine how the world would change if we had your teleportation technology? Please Fedex, think of the children.

Sincerely, Nester P. Hogsquallor III, Esq.