I see cute and fuzzy bunnies...being massacred by my mother

In the course of my life I’ve taken a Rorschach, PAI, MMPI and a couple other tests I don’t remember the names of. All of them were taken with a joyful subversiveness in having fun with the answers. The scenarios they create just seem to beg to be made fun of.

I’ve always thought standardized psychological tests to be a bit silly, and was pleased to see the topic show up on plastic. One guy has apparently violated the rules and disclosed how Rorschach tests are scored. After reading that page it would appear my playful answers about angels and demons at war during a Rorschach test were not helpful. I was handed a schizotypal personality disorder diagnosis from one doctor and he urgently wanted to medicate me to stop a paranoid or delusional schizophrenia from setting in later. It was at that point that I realized that the doctors took these things far more serious than I did. I never went back to see him again. Although the realization came too late.

His dire warnings about my bleak future and need for hospitalization within two years if I didn’t take medication, as well as the test results followed me into my security clearance process. I don’t know what effect those tests and his assessment had on getting the security clearance, but I was denied. After reviewing the materials the FBI gathered on me his interview was certainly the most damning and investigated.

From a philosophical standpoint how does a mind comprehend itself? It would seem to me that in order to understand the system you must be able to observe the system from outside.