Sex With Strangers

I saw Sex with Strangers last night at the Angelika. It’s a documentary about three couples who swing. It’s made by the guys who do Taxi Cab Confessions. My expectations had been set by the one DFW BDSM gathering I had attended. I had gone with earnest curiosity about the people who are involved in that lifestyle. Both groups appear to contain similar sci-fi/fantasy reading, internet saavy, anime watching, role playing gamers and thrill seekers. None of them meet the Cosmo/GQ standards for beauty, but they all seem relatively comfortable with their bodies whatever shape they may be.

The centerpiece of the movie is this guy Calvin (I’m guessing 23 or 24) and his two similarly aged girlfriends, Julie and Sarah. The abuse that he dishes out, and that they accept is incredible. He is completely passive aggressive in his relationships. He waits for the situation to snowball out of his control till he’s forced to commit one or the other and nobody’s happy. His swinging lifestyle seems driven more by his inability to make decisions than a genuine belief that swinging affords him new insights into love, trust and intimacy. Julie and Sarah do not get along well as they compete with each other for Calvin’s attention. A sex scene with Julie wearing a strap-on and fucking Sarah seemed to burst with symbolism.

For all the of the sex it has surprisingly little nudity. I was surprised at how well they were able to film a number of the scenes. In fact the movie flows so well that people have expressed doubt as to its documentary credentials. Taken at face the value the movie depicts one couple who finds the lifestyle rewarding, one couple who seem to get little out of it and a third couple that represents the nastiness that swinging can bring out. While none of the subjects pontificate specifically on love, trust, intimacy and monogamy the movie does provide some insights as it revolves around the three couples.

One of my favorite movies of the year so far. However, I think that’s due to a personal connection I had with some of the characters. I was often reminded of people I grew up with in Alabama. Two thirds of the couples are from the South.