So my experiment to build

So my experiment to build a career with Apt Minds has come to a pause after 13 months or so. It’s taken the wind out of me and I feel numb. It’s my own fault really. I didn’t work hard enough. I am not as good as I thought I was. I didn’t find the discipline I had hoped to find. At any rate, I’m willing to walk away right now and let Dave make of it what he can. What surprises me is Leia still trying to retain some control.

Months of frustration with Leia’s lack of production boiled down to a dispute over what to do with aptminds.com. Out of the three of us Dave has easily worked the hardest and made a suggestion to us about what it should be used for. Leia disagreed but rather than tell him (this is par for the course with her) she just IM’d me. After months of holding her hand in the hopes I could prod her into producing anything I finally lost it:

M: look, i think it’s real simple M: dave is still doing stuff with apt minds. we aren’t. you never really have. so the one who uses it gets to say what it looks like

[…I didn’t get a response so I followed up…]

M: or is that incorrect and you have an idea of what you want to do with apt minds? L: you have a point. thanks for being so delicate

[…Leia then disappeared into the bathroom and took a shower…]

Later when we talked she said I was a brutal asshole. I think after the personal and professional black hole that has been my relationship with Leia I really have no desire to wait for someone to change or give them any “second chances.” Thankfully I only have four more months of being on a lease with the black hole. Listening: P h i l o s o m a t i k a Feeling: numb