The first rule of splitting up. Stay split up.

So things with DF reached a point some months ago where I realized that I’m just never going to have the relationship with her that I wanted and it was an impediment to building other relationships.

It had been pushed in different directions. At times close and intimate, and at other times light friendly contact. None of them worked out quite right despite some amazing peaks. This is something that involved years of investigation. Tired of the anger, and heartache I said “That’s it. No more communication.” DF was not pleased. Neither was I but I saw no other way.

I stuck to it. Over the next few months I received a few emails from DF but just read and filed them. Each time I wanted to respond and answer the questions but I stuck to my guns. Then I broke and answered DF last night. DF responded today.

Remember this my friend, this feeling right now. This shitty, kicked in the chest, cold sweat, trembling, shallow breathing, nothing will ever be right about that relationship feeling. That’s what happens when you fuck with the rules you’ve setup.