gnumatt

These days I feel the

These days I feel the only emotion that’s really strong in me is anger. The other day I broke the wall in my apartment when I punched it. That is completely unheard of behavior for me. I haven’t done anything like that since I was a senior in high school and got into my last fight ever with Michael Hobbs. I think he disparaged That’s not to say I have a heart-pumping, call to action, righteous anger. It’s more like middle-class, tepid ennui. The weird thing is I’m not angry at any one thing. It’s just background radiation that tints my life and mutes all my other feelings.

I want to be alone. I think that comes from not wanting to infect others with my anger, or maybe not wanting them to see me like this.