"[Mankind's] history is largely a

“[Mankind’s] history is largely a record of crime, war, disease, and terror, with just sufficient happiness interposed to give them, while it lasts, an agonised apprehension of losing it, and when it is lost, the poignant misery of remembering.”

-C.S. Lewis The Problem of Pain

In my grieving over Kathy I have discounted the importance of others. I suppose literature has taught me a lot about what grieving is about. I operate at times under this illusion it’s supposed to be this Greek tragedy. I think about Heathcliff and Cathy in Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff is driven by a single purpose and that is to be with Cathy, especially once she is gone. While Kathy’s absence diminishes us all I do her no service by wallowing in the “poignant misery of remembering.” I feel the need to take the time to remember an incredible friend of mine, Rebecca. Without her influence my travels would be miniscule and insignificant. She reawakened my love for the outdoors, and helped me begin to uncover a spiritual side that I had actively scorned previously. Before her I saw myself as a machine that had fallen from grace and been made human. I sought to purge emotions. While Rebecca is not solely responsible for helping me to see my own darkness she carried on the work of others before her. She was a bright spot in the three years in Birmingham and we had many good times. Boy did we have some fights though, she was a scrappy fighter! I was still a hurt little kid though fighting over silly things most of the time.

I loved her then and do still now. Although it has changed over the years. It’s like our friendship has been through so much over the years the affection is the only thing left as the rougher edges have been worn away. Just as Kathy didn’t really know, Rebecca doesn’t know the tremendous impact she has had on my life. I still surprise myself when I do something and remember who showed it to me for the first time.