#Personal

i was born (a unicorn)

I talked with this homeless guy for an hour a couple weeks ago. He’s never been married and has nobody now. For the first time ever I saw a future where I floated from city to city alone.

I missed the ark but I could have sworn you’d wait for me. I was born a unicorn. I could have sworn you believed in me. Then how come all the other unicorns are dead?

i'm gonna sit right down and mail a letter

To: Landry’s Seafood Manager 5101 Governors House Dr. Huntsville, AL 35805

I was recently at your restaurant and I enjoyed the food and service. Our waitress was attentive and the food was cooked and prepared correctly. I had the Salmon Fillet. One thing would have made the experience better, the availability of Dr. Pepper. Mr. Pibb is not a suitable substitute. I moved to Huntsville from Dallas in August and I’ve been surprised at the lack of Dr. Pepper when dining out. I was glad your staff didn’t serve Mr. Pibb surreptitiously as some less than reputable establishments have done in the past. She made sure I understood it was not available when I ordered. I hope that you will consider adding Dr. Pepper to your beverage selection in the near future. It is a fine, zesty beverage that I am sure your patrons, such as myself, will appreciate.

i used to update this other site

I started messing around with gnumatt.org today and began a page dedicated to the green Acura Integra that enriched my life for a few years. In lieu of trying to shoehorn my thoughts into livejournal you can look at them on gnumatt.org.

Listening: I’ve Just Seen A Face-The Beatles-Help!

Okay, I've got a real

Okay, I’ve got a real conundrum and not some dull mind fantasy about my role, or lack thereof, in the univese. Being among the dotcom summer breakers I’ve been enjoying the fruits of my unemployment insurance since about May. Well, it’s going to run out soon. In a surprising coincidence I got an email from an ex-coworker of mine at Bellsouth. Apparently my old boss was happy to hear about me and said to get in touch with him if I needed a job. It would be employment but I imagine it would mean getting a job in Birmingham, Alabama again. That is certainly something that is at the bottom of my things to do list.

"[Mankind's] history is largely a

“[Mankind’s] history is largely a record of crime, war, disease, and terror, with just sufficient happiness interposed to give them, while it lasts, an agonised apprehension of losing it, and when it is lost, the poignant misery of remembering.”

-C.S. Lewis The Problem of Pain

In my grieving over Kathy I have discounted the importance of others. I suppose literature has taught me a lot about what grieving is about. I operate at times under this illusion it’s supposed to be this Greek tragedy. I think about Heathcliff and Cathy in Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff is driven by a single purpose and that is to be with Cathy, especially once she is gone. While Kathy’s absence diminishes us all I do her no service by wallowing in the “poignant misery of remembering.” I feel the need to take the time to remember an incredible friend of mine, Rebecca. Without her influence my travels would be miniscule and insignificant. She reawakened my love for the outdoors, and helped me begin to uncover a spiritual side that I had actively scorned previously. Before her I saw myself as a machine that had fallen from grace and been made human. I sought to purge emotions. While Rebecca is not solely responsible for helping me to see my own darkness she carried on the work of others before her. She was a bright spot in the three years in Birmingham and we had many good times. Boy did we have some fights though, she was a scrappy fighter! I was still a hurt little kid though fighting over silly things most of the time.

Experimental feature added

Experimental feature added

One of the nice things about having a blog that nobody visits is that I can add CPU sucking tools and the light traffic won’t hurt it. I’ve added a new sidebar box called mail waiting. It logs into my IMAP server and checks the Pending folder in my mailbox and gets a list of messages. The Pending folder contains messages that I need to respond to. Don’t go sending me email just to see your name pop up in the list, I manually go through my mailbox and put messages into that Pending folder. I could have it list my whole Inbox but that wouldn’t really serve any purpose.

I am not a number.

I am not a number. I am a free man

-Number 6

The closer you are to Caesar the greater the fear. I contemplated this as I wove my way from the outer rings of the Albertville municipal court system towards the center. Unlike Dante I didn’t have a Virgil to guide me through. It all started June 19th on the way back from an Air show in Atlanta at around 2am. The Albertville police pulled my car over and decided that they wanted to do a search of the vehicle. It would end August 28th in a back-room deal with the prosecuting attorney.

[Special note: I've been keeping

[Special note: I’ve been keeping a written journal for about four and a half years now. I’ve always kept them private till now. This is the first entry written since my decision to start blogging. Who knows, maybe they’re so awful they should stay private. :)]

Irving Park at Story 16:57

I find myself at yet another park in yet another city. I’ve spent time in hundreds of them around the country. Finding a park was often the first thing I did when arriving in a new city or town. I think I’m drawn to them because I know all the rules of a park. They are the same where ever you go. I never worry about upsetting someone else. Also I can get away from people. They clutter my life. People rarely go to a park. Even in a downtown park I’m typically the only one there. It’s clean. Just me watching the ebb and flow between man and nature.

Driving back from a great

Driving back from a great dinner with Andy, Mark and Dave at Glorias I was having a blast on LBJ heading west. I was accelerating with wanton abandon and weaving faster than the sisters of Fate. I wasn’t alone as another car and a motorcycle had recognized the great opportunity that the typically languorous LBJ presented us.

If I can’t drive my car like I’m in a video game, then what’s the point of driving.

Bigror, light of my life,

Bigror, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin. My soul.

She was Ror, plain Ror, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Rorie on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Bigror.

:) added for the V. Nabokov impaired among us.

Rorie called Mark today, I’m sure she meant to call me :) but the phone made it back to me eventually. They have openings for Vignette programmers at Southwestern Bell. She says she’s even part of the interview process and makes suggestions on who to hire. Could it be that my job woes have reached an end? I will have to take another look at my resume.